CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW - BRYANT PICONE

It’s just a game.

8:00PM TONIGHT! @ BAYSIDE H.S ARENA

That’s what they say. But what do they know?

They haven’t been haunted by the nightmares of agonizing defeat. They haven’t had their dreams shattered by a worthy foe. Had a trophy they envisioned as their own snatched from their conscious…

Nor have they savored the sweet, saccharine secretion of victory. They haven’t had the joyful nectar of success drip from their lips as they finally lay claim to a championship. Relished the realization that they have achieved their ultimate goal…

After six teams battled through a total of twenty-nine games, it comes down to two teams and one game. One final contest to decide it all. This is championship basketball. DB Iso versus Royal Flush - Welcome to Overtime Basketball’s Inaugural Championship!

Let’s get to the breakdown!!

Joining me for this championship preview is the inimitable, seemingly omnipresent Charlie Sheen(http://livethesheendream.com/). Despite spending the bulk of his time conducting interviews (http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/2011/03/charlie-sheens-2020-quotes-they-come-from-my-grand-wizard-master-and-more.html), frolicking with the goddesses (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/03/bree-olson-nude-charlie-s_n_831063.html), raising his kids (http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/02/charlie_sheen_1.html), and #winning (http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/02/charlie_sheen_1.html), Charlie wanted to connect with all his fans at Overtime Basketball.

DB Isonation

Main Advantage – Size

Hulk 

DB Isonation’s main advantage in this match-up is their size. They will look to exploit Royal Flush’s lack of height and heft by getting to the basket and hitting the glass. If they can dominate the paint, they will put themselves in a good position to win.

Chris Youn – (Flor de Mayo Award winner) – Chris is the leader and best player on DB Iso. “SLAM” aka “Carmelo Anthony” is an MVP candidate, Mr. Double-Double and a hard-nosed, do-it-all player. He can score at will. Like Melo, he can hurt you from inside or outside, facing up or posting up. With a bevy of moves and a ravenous hunger for hoarding boards, Youn’s level of effort and effectiveness will be a major factor for DB Iso.

 Moon Hwan Yun – A beast on the boards, Moon is unstoppable under the basket. Seriously. Put an obstacle in front of him such as a turkey sandwich, and he will eat it in your face. Put a mariachi band in his way and he will smash the guitarrón over the violinist’s head in time to pave the way for “SLAM”. Put Mark Lee in his path and Moon will bowl Mark over and then chuckle heartily to himself while corralling the rebound for an easy put-back. And if you try to play him with the same kind of brutal ferocity, he will make you pay. Quick lesson for RF: don’t foul this guy, because he can shoot free throws.

Austen Park – A big body ready to bang, Moon, Chris and Austen present a match up problem for the generally undersized Royal Flush. Austen is more than just a presence in the middle though; he also can shoot the mid-range jumper. But, just when you start to defend him at 10-15 feet from the basket, he will hurt you inside.

Paul Kim – Paul, a disciple of “The Glove”, is a feisty defender. A GP/Rondo hybrid, Paul is a guard that can also grab boards. He will play a large part in trying to slow the speedy Royal Flush and not let them get easy transition buckets. Look for him to make an impact by clamping down on D and not letting Mark and RF get out on the fast break.

Dan Kim – Mr. True Grit, what can be said about Mr. Dan Kim that hasn’t already been said? A 3-point specialist by trade, Dan Kim is the veteran leader of this DB Iso team. A man who relishes the spotlight and is willing to go “mano a mano” with the best, D Kim’s only fear is having a sink full of dirty dishes. He plans on bringing extra Cascade to this one as he looks to wipe the plate clean and serve his teammates and himself a healthy serving of Championship Cake!

Paul Kong – Paul Kong is an X-factor in this match up. Headed to Korea, Paul looks to leave a lasting impression on the Queens basketball community by exiting on top. DB Iso is going to need Kong to show up big in this one. He’s the consummate point guard with great offensive awareness. Look for him to swish and dish and feed the big men inside.

Royal Flush

Main Advantage – Speed

Royal Flush's main advantage is their team speed. If they can push the tempo and force DB Iso to play fast, they should be able to gain the upper hand and come out with the victory.

Mark Lee – (Jesus Shuttlesworth Award co-winner) Mark Lee. MVP candidate. The Commish. Coupling dynamic leadership skills with his Spartan-like mentality, Mark is the engine that makes Royal Flush go. Let’s hope his steering column is intact so that he can successfully navigate the harsh, hairpin turns DB Iso is sure to throw his way. With nearly unstoppable fast-break moves and a penchant to stroke the deep ball, Mark will hurt you in a number of ways.

Jason Lee – For those who only see Jason Lee speed up and down the court, they would guess that he’s one of the younger players in this league. In fact, the opposite is true. Proving that age doesn’t necessarily force one to abandon up-tempo style offenses, Jason Lee is one of the fastest players in the league. Also possessing ridiculous stamina and a defensive mindset, Lee will lock you down.

Bada Hong – Bada “Ocean” Hong, is a key piston in Royal Flush’s engine. Undersized, Bada uses his deft footwork and love of contact to showcase his superb interior rebounding skills. His ability to neutralize DB Iso’s bigs will go far in determining the outcome of this game. Look for Hong to pull Moon, Austen and “SLAM” away from the basket with his great midrange shot. Possessing a soft touch, “Ocean” shoots as if each of his fingertips is a feather-filled down pillow.

Kwon Lim – Kwon Lim is a scorer. A great finisher, he can score from almost anywhere on the court. Last week I saw him practicing half-court shots and I asked him what he was doing. He replied, “Why practice shots I already know I’m going to make? I’m just trying to boost my shooting percentage from some of my weak spots.” Hmm, sounds like solid logic to me, Mr. Lim. I hope that works out for you.

Austin Han – “Hero” Han, like his role model Chauncey Billups, is a point guard who is willing to take (and make) the big shot. A trey ball specialist, Han isn’t necessarily a score-first point guard, but he certainly isn’t afraid to let a few fly. Will DB Iso recognize his big shot potential and look to ice him with the game on the line? Or will they be too worried about Mark Lee? Knicks fans hope opponents have the same fear of the two-headed monster (Stat and Melo) and leave Mr. Big Shot open.

Paul Cho – Cho aka “Pauly C” (Jersey Shore’s finest) is an uber-athletic forward. He will look to use the size and heft of DB Iso’s big men against them. Running circles around them in the post and racing up and down the baseline, Cho hopes to exhaust Moon, Austen and “SLAM” by forcing them to chase after him. Cho is also blessed with a good midrange game and shot-blocking skills.

Charlie Sheen phoned in his predictions. Here’s a transcript:

BP: “So, Charlie, thanks for taking some time out of your busy schedule to give us your prediction for Overtime Basketball’s Championship game between DB Isonation and Royal Flush.”

Charlie: “Flush? Like toilets? Royal Toilets. I once visited the Queen of England. Blew a few lines off that pristine porcelain. Good times…”

BP: “Ok, sounds like that was a fun time. How are you doing these days Charlie? There’s been a lot of bad press about how you’re messed up on drugs.”

CS: “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. If you try it once, your puny brain will explode. Your face will melt off, and your Uncle Mark Lee will perform an ankle-breaking crossover on your badly decapitated body … I’m tired of pretending like I’m not the greatest athlete since Charlie Ward—a total freaking All-Star from Pluto. I’ve got one-half Superman, one-half "SLAM" Youn blood coursing through my veins and Zeus DNA!

BP: “That’s an interesting combination. But, I must ask, what makes you so violent?”

CS: “ Well, they picked a fight with a warlock. They’re trying to take all my basketballs and leave me with no means to take my talents to the Knicks. Imagine me, starting at Center… It’s not astrology! They owe me an apology while sucking my toes… I don’t think people are ready for the hoop skills I’m delivering, and delivering with a sense of violent love.”

BP: “Interesting. I think you and Amare would make an intimidating front-court. Do you think the Knicks will give you a call?”

CS: “Who knows? I exposed fools and trolls to magic! They want to question me?? Here’s your piss test. Next one goes in your mouth! Who’s going to win? Who’s really playing? Isn’t this all a game conducted by little wizards with pointy hats?!? Don’t think I don’t see the magician’s cape. I’m a master warlock and I’ve been told things…"

BP: “Have you been told anything about Overtime’s Championship Game?”

CS: “I think both these teams possess fire-breathing fists, but I see Royal Flush winning a close one. Dan Kim is a good friend though, so don’t tell him I said that… Where are my goddesses?… Sorry I have to go hide this 7-gram rock in my nose. Thanks for the memories!”